Believe it or not, I'm literate. I spend a lot of time reading pop novels, because that's what I like to read. I'd like to think that one day I'll battle through
Ulysses, or even engage some of the
Hemingway tomes I've bought for
my boyfriend. I have books by
Virginia Woolf and fully intend on reading them. It should be noted here that one of the reasons I have yet to read
Mrs. Dalloway is that my emotionally unstable siamese peed on it (along with
Microserfs by
Douglas Coupland and
Averno by
Louise Glück) when I left it out on the kitchen counter, which is, apparently, her new favorite place to assert her authority. The truth, however, is I probably wouldn't have read it yet anyway. Though, it may be noted, that I have a ton of books by decorated poets. And I've read most of them.
The point is, I think, that pop novels make for great holiday gifts. I've read all of these books, and thusly can give my stamp of approval. I'm even gifting some this year (I feel safe saying this because my giftees either have an aversion to internets or to blogs). And, as tacky as it is, Happy Holidays to all two of you who read this blog. And a happy new year, or whatever.
( And, yes, I'm aware that I'm a bit late for Hanukkah, but that never stops the cashiers at Macy's from saying "Happy Holidays." I recommend avoiding that place right now, it's a zoo. A zoo filled with steroid-enhanced wildlife that may or may not have recently snorted cocaine.)A Tale of Two Sisters by
Anna MaxtedI read this one last year, picked it up because it's by one of the only
chick lit authors I enjoy, Anna Maxted. But it surprised me. This is as much a warm, heartfelt book about taking responsibility for one's own place in life as it is a punchy comedy. The story takes turns between the perspectives of two sisters, Lizbet and Cassie, as they struggle through their relationships (Lizbet is single but committed, whereas Cassie is married but questioning her vows), their jobs (editor and lawyer, respectively), and their feelings for eachother just as a surprise, followed by a tragedy, hit the family. Perhaps it sounds a bit cliche, but trust me when I say that this is Maxted's best book, rife with wit and cynicism, and a great gift for any woman in the family.
The Seas by
Samantha HuntWhat I love most about this book is its insane romanticism. Let me pause. It's not insane because it's romantic, it's romantic because it's insane. Or is it? The narrator has a special
idealism in the face of imminent tragedy, and is convinced of certain paranormal experiences - most prominently she believes she's a
mermaid - that really define the ebb and flow of the story. She is engaged a doomed love affair with a much older
Gulf War vet, and lives in a small ship-building town, that, despite giving no specific geographical location, reminds me of northern
Maine. It's the spirit of this book that has caused me to already gift it twice.
Hey Nostradamus! by
Douglas CouplandIt's not really about religion. Its characters, in various states of spiritual decomposition, don't have a platform on
Christianity. In the wake of a high school tragedy, the four narrators of this story are all determined to move forward. Some get there faster than others, and, like you might expect from Coupland, each character's progress is interwoven with the others'. Like most of Coupland's work, this novel leaves both an apocalyptic and a hopeful aftertaste.
Songbook by
Nick HornbyThis was actually given to me a few years ago, by my childhood best friend. It's nonfiction - part memoir, part music journalism, with Hornby's musings on his 32 favorite songs. This makes a perfect gift for a music-lover - the friend who has a story for each of his favorite songs. You know, the "Oh the first time I heard this I was driving down
Congress Street with Joe..." friend. It's also a quick read, so it's not like you'd be burdening him with the chore of reading
War and Peace. Unless, you know, he's into that sort of thing.
Cockatiels for Two by
Leo CullumLeo Cullum is among my favorite
New Yorker cartoonists. And cat cartoons never cease to be funny. This book, comprised entirely of his cat cartoons, is a no-miss gift. Unless your recipient is a dog person. For him, there is
Cullum's book of dog cartoons. But that one doesn't interest me nearly as much.
Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by
T.S. EliotFor lovers of fixed-verse poetry and
cat fanatics alike, children and adults, this Eliot classic is a pleaser. I mean, who wouldn't love a poem about Jennyanydots, or Macavity the Mystery Cat? These poems are entertaining and nostalgic, and most fun read aloud!
Beasts by
Joyce Carol OatesA coworker recommended this book to me as she said it reminded her of having gone to college in a rural, eastern location, much like I did. It takes place at an all-girls college in
New England, where one girl's obsession with a professor of literature, and, in turn, his wife the art teacher, quickly becomes unhealthy. While dark,
Beasts is a compelling read that draws a narrow line between art and self.
Big Mouth and Ugly Girl by
Joyce Carol OatesWhen I initially purchased this book from
half.com, I suspected that it might be a
young adult novel. The cover art, I suppose gives it away. I mostly didn't care, as a) Joyce Carol Oates is awesome and b) I like kids' books. What surprised me was the careful, strong narrative Oates crafted using two teenage misfits as
protagonists, and, in the aftermath of so many
school shootings and bomb threats in the 90's and 00's, the way she tackles such an incident without gimmick or glamor. This is the sort of smart, funny novel that teenagers should be reading, and that adults can certainly get a kick out of, too.
Sputnik Sweetheart by
Haruki MurakamiThis was the first Murakami book I read. I know, he's a huge
buzz name right now, but hear me out. Your contemporary-literature-loving friend probably doesn't have this one. It's not one of Murakami's more well-known novels, but perhaps it should be. I admit, I chose it not on its merit, but on the fact that it was the shortest of the Murakami novels that were on sale at
the Strand. I don't regret this. It mostly takes place on a remote island off the coast of
Greece, in search of a woman who has disappeared, seemingly, without a trace. While Murakami is, arguably, hard to read, once you discover the elaborate mystery and romance of this novel, it's difficult to put down. I, for one, missed my stop on
the train at least once while reading it.
Latin for Even More Occasions by
Henry BeardOkay, this was geek-love-at-first-sight. Henry Beard may not be a creative genius, but I can't say I haven't enjoyed this book a little too much. And I'm certain that anyone with an interest in Latin, language, or Greco-Roman studies will get a kick out of this. This is especially useful for the holidays:
Cogito sumere potum alterum.
Slam by
Nick HornbyI haven't finished reading this yet, so I can't give you an absolutely definitive opinion. But, I
can tell you that Nick Hornby's first young adult novel is
a hoot. It takes on both heavy and light-hearted subjects with the sort of narrative
voice that I have enjoyed In every other Hornby novel that I've read through the eyes of Sam. Sam is a 16-year-old
skater (not an
ice-skater, mind you, a
skateboarder) living in
London. He has girl trouble. And there's very little not to enjoy about his story.
Miss Wyoming by
Douglas CouplandAnother Coupland novel that I devoured this past year,
Miss Wyoming is as delightful as it is frightening. Frightening in the sense that, yes, this is the human condition. It skips about in time, narrating both the history and current affairs of a former teen
pageant queen and a
washed up movie star. Susan Colgate has survived a plane crash followed by a year-long disappearance, John Johnson has survived a drug overdose followed by months of self-prescribed homelessness. They both have survived, as you can imagine, some extremely odd family dynamics. As the story switches perspectives and carves out each surprise, you find yourself putting faith in the aforementioned human condition, and the odd little mission that this pair ultimately have set out to achieve.
There you have it. Happy shopping (read: may you not venture into any
malls or d
epartment stores). And, if you're wondering what to get me, here's
my very own Amazon wish list. I like presents.
All of my Austin writing friends will be there (except for poor Kari, for whom we will be tweeting) and then of course there's the special guests like out-of-town authors and agents and editors.
I have two zits on my forehead and they are getting kind of huge and what if they don't go away before the conference?
What if I fall asleep in the middle of a presentation because the conference starts so early and I don't really like coffee and I can't figure out how to sugar up the coffee provided enough so that I can actually drink it and, BAM, catching z's.
Preheat your oven to 350°. In a medium-sized bowl combine the dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In a large mixing bowl use an electric mixer (or a really strong hand) to blend the peanut butter and the butter until smooth and creamy. Blend in the sugar, and then add the egg and the water. When thoroughly blended, slowly add the dry ingredients. The dough should be soft but crumbly. Stir in the chocolate and peanut butter chips (if you want, Nestle makes some fun "swirl" chocolate chips, including a milk chocolate/peanut butter blend. I used two cups of these instead of one cup of each kind). Using your hands pinch bits of dough from the bowl and form into small 1-2 inch balls. Roll the dough in your palms, but don't over-handle! Set the balls of dough about an inch apart on a non-stick cookie sheet, and using the back of a fork, make hash marks in the dough. This will flatten the dough some, but be aware that they still will spread out by baking! Bake the cookies from 10-15 minutes. Let cool on a drying rack (wax paper on a counter top works just as well) and enjoy with a loved one. Or by yourself. Or send them to your best friend in Arizona (if she likes peanut butter cookies).
As you can see, he's quite proud of himself. This is a cat masterpiece. I think this is the feline version of TPing your teacher's yard. There's nearly a whole roll there, including some that is in the bathtub and behind the toilet. My other cat, a wee Siamese — who is, incidentally, dumb as a stick — was rolling around in it, as if trying to take credit for Tele's hard work. Sadly, yes, it's an incredible waste of paper. My grandfather used to roll it back up onto the tube, but I can't bring myself to do that. This is why my room mate shouldn't feel bad about the fact that I buy most of the toilet paper. When so much goes to entertaining the animals, I just wouldn't feel right asking her for TP money.
